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Promoting Self-Esteem in Kids

Children go through difficult periods where their self esteem is challenged by their peers. Today's children are exposed to pressures far earlier than we were. The pressures of fitting in with cliques, wearing certain clothes, having the latest and greatest tech gadgets such as cell phones and iPods, and keeping up appearances are overwhelming.

It can sometimes be hard to spot signs of low self esteem. You might just think your child is having a bad day. A few signs of low self esteem include your child not wanting to try something new, your child talking negatively about themselves, and getting easily frustrated or giving up on tasks when they start having trouble with completing it. When in doubt, talk to your child's teacher or guidance counselor. If your child shows signs of low self-esteem, take immediate action to counterbalance their feelings of obscurity. Here are some ways to help raise your kid’s self-esteem.

Be proud of them.
Let your child know that you are proud of them. Tell them how impressed you are about their honor roll grades, athletic accomplishments, or artistic, musical or theatrical ability. Brag about their special accomplishments to friends and family while they’re within listening distance. children like to know their parents are proud enough of them that they'd share their accomplishments with extended family and friends.

Praise them.
It’s easy to point out failures or mistakes. Faults seem to stand out more, making them easy to point out. Kids take these criticisms to heart and dwell on them a lot longer than we realize. One comment that we think is harmless, even if we just meant it jokingly, can unfortunately scar a child. So instead, call attention to their successes. Express your approval when your child does something nice. If your child opens the door for someone at the grocery store or picks up and returns something that a fellow shopper drops, praise them. Things like showing kindness and politeness to others are just as important as athletic or academic accomplishments. Children need to know this.

Focus on their strengths.
As a parent, you know your child’s strengths better than anyone else. Center your conversation with them around all the things they are doing well. Make a point to clearly notice their strong points. They might not have the same strengths as your so help them discover their unique strengths by introducing them to a variety of activities.

Show them special attention.
Children who have self-esteem issues typically act like they don’t want attention to be focused on them, even though that’s exactly what they need and secretly want. They are insecure and worried that their flaws will be highlighted and this is exactly what they don't want or need to happen. Spend some quality one-on-one time with your kids. Give them your total attention and let them know how special they are to you, not only as your child, but as a person. Positive affirmations go a long way towards improving your child's self esteem.

Respect their opinions.
You may not agree with everything your kids say and do. Keep in mind that they are growing every day, evolving and maturing into adults. They are coming into their own and need to know they have your support and love. Even though you disagree with something they say or want to do, respect their opinions. It helps them build confidence in who they are. Make it clear that while you are the adult, you value their thoughts and viewpoints.